I recently read an article written by Michael Smerconish in The Philadelphia Inquirer titled “Eulogizing Flawed Public Figures.” He writes that with so many well-known public figures having recently passed, we need to take a hard look at how the legacy of some of these people should be judged, given they had troubling shortcomings in their lives that have to be weighed against the immense contributions they provided society. Mr. Smerconish cites Sen. Ted Kennedy and Michael Jackson as examples.
This got me to thinking about how we’re judged by family and friends while we’re living, let alone w
hen we leave this world. Should our lives be assessed by our value system and sense of altruism? How about our careers and financial status? Are you the quintessential family man and a friend everyone can count on? Is a combination of these factors the ideal formula for making your case? For the 50 plus male, having reached or surpassed the midpoints of our lives, this question of judgment can hit critical mass.
We all have our failings, and personal inadequacies deserve some measure of thought when we determine the true value of a man. I’m currently going through a career change that has proven more difficult than I ever dreamed; how much will my lack of success thus far impact how I’m thought of by family and friends against past triumphs? Have you ever reflected on your personal state of affairs? What are the elements you would take into account for any sort of self-appraisal; would those you know utilize these same guidelines?
I understand that most people don’t typically deal with this subject until the person in question has died, but as 50 plus males, we’ve lived long enough to provide ample perspective for our lives to this point. I’m reminded of a line spoken by Martin Sheen’s character in one of my favorite movies, Wall Street. During an elevator ride, he turns to his son in the movie (played by real-life son Charlie Sheen) and says something along the lines of “what you see is a guy who never measured a man’s success by the size of his wallet!” It takes someone with seasoning (in this case the father) to impart wisdom to the younger man.
In the end, legacies are a combination of the subjective mixed with the factual. Each of us has our own idea of the key ingredients for a life lived with meaning and impact. All I personally do is try to live each day knowing it will reflect on the true measure of the man…
-Neal
Well written post Neal, thanks. Good luck in blogging!
Great blog. I too remember that line from Wall Street and have used it as a guideline for myself and my children. The book of Tao mentions something about Judgement, that if you concern yourself as to how you are judged by others, you will never be at peace. Personally I feel as long as I live life close to the ideals I have set for my self, then my legacy is close to what I hope for. As far as everyone else is concerned as to how they see it- the hell with them- I did the best I could.
One’s legacy should simply be an extension and reflection of one’s life; and shouldn’t be so much a matter of judgment, but the true impact that remains among the living…if that makes sense.