Many of you have no doubt read your portion of the flurry of articles dealing with the “sandwich generation,” those of us who provide care not just for our children, but our parents as well. A sizable slice of boomers have willingly accepted this dual responsibility, while others have shunned aside any efforts to do so and view the situation as a dilemma they either don’t have the means to handle and/or desire to engage.
According to an article by Sheri and Bob Stritof, authors of The Everything Great Marriage Book, who have furnished expert counsel in numerous publications, there are estimates that upwards of two-thirds of our generation will be taking care of at least one aging parent over the next ten years. Combine this possibility with other everyday concerns many of us face (ex. marital, finances, our own health) and you have a cocktail that is equal parts anxiety and bewilderment.
Any of the major internet search engines will yield a bounty of resources on this subject. One aggregate site you may find helpful is at CNNMoney.com, which covers various facets of the puzzle such as social, legal, health, and financial planning.
My wife and I do not have any children; hence we are only dealing with one side of the equation—concern for our surviving parents. This is reason enough for why I’m reluctant to proffer any personal recommendations, along with not being an expert in the field. There is one piece of advice I can offer as a result of practice, however, and it stems for pure common sense: communication is integral. It has to flow in every direction with all children, spouses and parents serving as road-markers. If you’re not broaching the subject out of fear, guilt, or general lack of obligation, nothing but trouble lurks ahead. Granted, not all parties may be amenable to the discussion, but you need to press on…
Family dynamics can be tricky, but the “sandwich generation” needs to remain cognizant that this is a minor obstacle compared to the difficulty and sometimes overwhelming responsibility of the choices that may lie ahead.
-Neal
