As we approach the New Year, many people are ruminating about recent misgivings and sins, simultaneously readying themselves for commitment to yet another list of personal resolutions. We all know how this generally works out…a couple of promises are pursued with purposeful intent while most of our list inadvertently falls by the wayside.
While each of us wrangle with our own efforts at righting the past year’s wrongs, I’d like to leave The 50 Plus Male readers with a New Year’s present of some principles and instructions from The Official Rules by Paul Dickson, a collection published over thirty years ago. I’m dividing these gems for dealing with life’s struggles into three parts: Everyday Living, Career, and Humorous Tidbits.
Everyday Living
What man really fears is not so much extinction, but extinction with insignificance.~Ernest Becker
When inequality is the general rule in society, the greatest inequalities attract no attention.~ De Tocqueville
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.~Durant’s Discovery
The proof that you know something is that you are able to teach it.~Aristotle
If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.~Chas. Kettering
A fool in high station is like a man on the top of a high mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody~Matsch’s Maxim
Unless you put your money to work for you—you work for your money~Miller’s Law
Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.~Professional’s Law
You can observe a lot just by watching.~Yogi Berra
Career
Pay attention to the details—your customers do.~S. Chowdhury
What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.~Economists’ Law
People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.~Sinclair Lewis
The longer the title, the less important the job.~McGovern’s Law
Our customer’s paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.~Brown’s Law of Business Success
In any organization, the potential is much greater for the subordinate to manage his superior than for the superior to manage his subordinate.~Rodovic’s Rule
All technology expands the space, contracts the time, and destroys the working group.~Rosenstock-Huessy’s Law of Technology
The minute you sign a client is the minute you start to lose him.~Public Relations Client Turnover Law
Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.~Woman’s Equation
Humorous Tidbits
Never eat a a place called Mom’s, play cards with a man named Doc, or lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.~Algren
Anybody can win—unless there happens to be a second entry.~Ade’s Law
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.~Crane’s Rule
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.~Fischer’s Finding
The good parking places are always on the other side of the street.~Gumperson’s Law
Nice guys finish fast.~First Rule of Public Speaking
It works better if you plug it in.~Sattingler’s Law
You’re not drunk enough if you can lie on the floor without holding on.~Dean Martin
In closing out The 50 Plus Male for the calendar year, I want to wish all of you a safe, healthy, prosperous New Year. Thank you for your loyalty and support, my appreciation is limitless. We all hope for a calmer 2010 than the wild gyrations of 2009, but “while hope may be eternal, it’s not a strategy”… and remember you always need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.
-Neal
