The 50 Plus Male

My brother Kenn (a fellow member of the 50 plus male fraternity) belongs to a men’s club affiliated with his synagogue. The club annually breaks for the summer season by holding an end-of-year outing. Their recent celebration, held two weeks ago, was a sports lover’s nirvana—brunch with Darren “Dutch” Daulton (he has no remembrance of how he acquired this moniker) in a clubhouse suite at Citizens Bank ballpark, home to the Philadelphia Phillies. Kudos to Kenn for extending me an invitation to join him. The day was a rousing success for a variety of reasons.

For those of you not familiar with Daulton, he was the Phillies catcher from 1983-1997 before being traded to the Florida Marlins. To this day, he is known as the greatest clubhouse leader in the team’s history. Dutch served as the focal point for much of the success shared by the Phillies during his playing years, and was the unspoken steward of the “wild bunch” comprised of Daulton, John Kruk, and Lenny (“Dude”/”Nails”) Dykstra. Daulton was a three-time All-Star before injuries brought a halt to his career.

It’s what happened after Dutch’s playing days ended that sets him apart from his former teammates. I’ll be polite by only briefly mentioning a DUI/suspended license episode along with an arrest on domestic violence charges. You’re thinking so what; many former and present athletes have faced similar trials and tribulations. Ah, but how many became well-known for their beliefs in the occult, various conspiracies, and a stout devotion to numerology? He even authored a book on these subjects, titled “If They Only Knew.” Dutch became a character who was widely believed to be “way out there” and many thought he was undergoing mental problems as well as physical (e.g. his weight ballooned).

His appearance at the brunch unveiled the new and improved version of Darren Daulton. He sports a perpetual tan (from living in Clearwater, FL for half of the year) accompanied by a Hollywood smile, and his weight has returned to a respectable level. Daulton could not have been more courteous or hospitable during the “party.” He gave a brief pre-brunch speech, and after the fine food was enjoyed by all, signed autographs and posed for pictures with aplomb.

This was followed by the most enjoyable part of the gathering, an extended question-and-answer session exhibiting Daulton’s extensive knowledge of the game along with fond memories of his years as a player. Daulton has become a true ambassador for baseball through his numerous personal appearances, and hosting a radio show on a local sports station entitled “Talking Baseball with Dutch.” Give him credit, he takes none of this good fortune for granted; numerous times he expressed “it took me 49 years to get these gigs and I’m not going to blow it.”

Now for the real reason I will always remember this day. It wasn’t meeting Daulton, the palatable food, or the game itself. It was the sheer joy of sharing a relaxed, lazy day in the fan-friendly confines of the ballpark with my brother. All personal and work-related concerns evaporated and we reminisced about past Phillies teams, appearances in the World Series, and the favorite players of our youth. Kenn and I share a love of the old Mays/McCovey/Cepeda/Marichal San Francisco Giants teams. Our discussion evoked memories of one of my all-time favorite gifts from my parents—a plastic replica of Willie Mays in his famed “basket-catch” pose.

The day was cloudy and the Phillies lost a forgettable game; none of that mattered. The old saying that “the simple things in life bring the most pleasure” was underscored by our blissful enjoyment. It was a true moment of bonding between brothers. Who knows, maybe the sun was shining after all…

-Neal

(noun–from Latin: a quality of substance or depth of personality)

Ancient Roman society required a lot from its men, including the specific virtues of gravitas, pietas, dignitas, and justitia. All of these traits revolve around exercising duty, devotion, and selflessness. Step into the time machine and fast-forward to the present; you’ll find these virtues hold equal importance within today’s definitive design of becoming a complete man. The trouble, as oft-expressed, is that “good men are just hard to find these days.” 

So, in an effort to spark some lively conversation, The 50 Plus Male is proud to present to you our next Top Ten list: a group of 50 plus males who each have that elusive quality of “gravitas” and rightly earn our admiration and respect…

Politics—Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter

Ah, already you’re thinking how can any politician be included on a list of virtuous men? After the disastrous administrations of Wilson Goode and John Street, Nutter has simply been a breath of fresh air for the City of Brotherly Love. This is not to say the city, under his watch, hasn’t had any problems (as exemplified by the legal woes of the current Philadelphia Housing Authority Director), but Nutter exudes a sense of intelligence and decorum rarely found in the political arena. Bringing opposing constituencies together combined with clearly outlining reasonable goals isn’t something many politicians can fully realize, but the Mayor is pulling this off as best as anyone in many years.

Sports—Alan Page

Remember the NFL’s Purple People Eaters? They were the core of the Minnesota Vikings’ feared defense in the seventies. Page played the game hard, but fair, and became the league’s first defensive player to win the Most Valuable Player Award. Page earned a law degree while playing and in 1993 was named to the Minnesota Supreme Court. He is also a member of the NFL Hall of Fame.

Business—John Chambers

Chambers is chairman and CEO of Cisco Systems, Inc. During his tenure, Cisco has been named to Fortune’s list of “America’s Most Admired Companies” seven times and he has been selected as one of Time magazine’s “100 Most Influential People.” Numerous awards have followed and Cisco has seen a growth spurt under Chamber’s helm from $1.2 billion to approximately $40 billion.

Television (acting)—Tom Selleck

Often referred to as “a man’s man,” Selleck is a shining example of “gravitas.” His talent and sense of presence have propelled him to an lengthy career in an extremely fickle business (Magnum P.I., Jesse Stone made-for-television movies, roles on Friends and Las Vegas, and currently Blue Bloods, one of this season’s breakout hits). He also can  be humorously self-deprecating, such as his funny bits on Letterman describing his avocado farming efforts at home.

Television (non-acting)—Charlie Rose

Rose, an Emmy award-winning journalist, is the host of the self-titled PBS talk-show program that re-defines intelligent conversation. His nightly guests, including politicians, newsmakers, scientists, athletes, business leaders, and entertainers from around the world, sit in the stark environs of the famous round oak table with a black backdrop, providing one of the most intimate hours on TV. Rose, exuding wit, charm and class is, for my money, the best interviewer on television today.

Movies—Daniel Day-Lewis

The versatile British/Irish actor is the subject of continuing critical acclaim for many of his movies (In the Name of the Father, My Left Foot, The Boxer, Gangs of New York, There Will Be Blood are prime examples), having won the Academy Award for Best Actor twice–1989 for My Left Foot and 2007 for There Will Be Blood. I doubt there’s a more cerebral, intense actor working today. His immersion into his roles is legendary among his acting brethren.

Columnist (Print or Online)—Jim Jubak

Regarded by many as the premier web investment columnist, Jubak is the senior markets editor for MSN Money. An expert as clearly explaining the arcane world of investment and personal finance, the New-York-based reporter isn’t afraid to go against conventional wisdom. His “Jubak’s Picks” (for stocks) and “Jubak’s Journal,” along with his MSN Money columns should be required reading for those interested in financial matters and resultant effects on the typical household’s pocketbook.

Music—Steve Tyrell

Tyrell is a Texas-born jazz singer who is widely known for his covers of jazz, Disney, and holiday standards. He came to the attention of the public through his beautiful rendition of The Way You Look Tonight in Father of the Bride, starring Steve Martin, though he has contributed to other films such as Mystic Pizza. He tours America and you’d be wise to catch one of his performances. If you’ve never bought/downloaded any of his CD’s, I’d suggest starting with Songs of Sinatra.

Advertising Icon—The Budweiser Clydesdales

No, I haven’t lost my marbles by including this category winner. Anheuser-Busch introduced these magnificent horses to the American public way back in 1933 as a way to celebrate the repeal of Prohibition. Since then, they have become the signature focal point of advertising and promotion for Budweiser beer. There are actually multiple teams of ten horses (with eight horses riding at any one time) consisting of both mares and stallions.  As this blog is geared for 50 Plus Males, our tip of the hat therefore goes to the stallions for this list.

Newsmakers —Dr. William Petit

I’ve purposely saved this as my last choice. By now, most of you know all about the horrific home invasion of the Petit family in Cheshire, Conn. in July  2007. I won’t rehash the details of the attack; suffice it to say I still shake my head to this day. This past week, one of the assailants was (finally) sentenced to death by the court. Dr. Petit is the sole surviving member of his family and has been stoic in diligently attending the court proceedings on a daily basis for these past three years. I have absolutely marveled at the incredible level of calm, thoughtfulness, clarity and class with which he has conducted himself for televised interviews after various court dates. To hold it together so well before the cameras, in the face of extraordinary grief, and express his profound appreciation for those who are bringing the killers to justice serves as my shining example of “gravitas.”

-Neal

I never like to start with an apologetic tone, but as it’s been too long a time since I wrote to all of you,  please know that I’m regretful for this and thankful my readers have “hung in there” between postings. So, let’s get right to it with some timely news that’s been bothering me of late.

As most 50 plus males know by now, sometimes sports serve as a metaphor for life. My hometown Philadelphia Flyers are currently proving this point. They didn’t qualify for the hockey playoffs until their last game of the regular season and have since shocked everyone by advancing through the first three rounds (two of which were against higher seeded teams), subsequently reaching the Finals against (once again) a must higher seeded team, the Chicago Blackhawks.

How  they have accomplished this feat was expounded upon by Phil Sheridan, a sports columnist for  The Philadelphia Inquirer. Simply put, the Flyers “are a relentless band of warriors.” This has entailed an increasing level of grit and determination while the playoffs have progressed; as their opponents have gotten better and stronger, so have the Flyers. Much credit has to be given to Flyers coach Peter Laviolette and his staff. They are, as Mr. Sheridan writes, hitting on all cylinders and pushing every button as motivators and leaders.

Lesson learned here: you have to be more and more prepared to meet rising challenges.

So why does an obviously intelligent, successful member of our generation seem to have totally dropped the ball? I’m referring to Tony Hayward, Chief Executive Officer of BP Plc, who recently turned fifty-three. Mr. Hayward (and we can’t excuse his support staff) has seemingly made one gaffe after another. His intonation of “wanting to get my life back” may have been the apogee of pathetic  remarks by a CEO, particularly in light of the eleven lives lost on the oil rig, not to mention the toll this oil spill is taking on local residents and wildlife.

The flak that BP has taken in response to the spill is justified, and the behavior of their leader has heightened the level of vitriol. It’s only now, after weeks of failures and poor corporate behavior that BP and Mr. Hayward are beginning to “hit on all cylinders.” Unfortunately, it’s too little/too late.

Mr. Hayward’s utter lack of exuding competence and leadership will only add to the incalculable cost that BP will have to pay over time. He has already confessed that “they did not have all the tools you would want in your toolkit.” In other words, they weren’t prepared to deal with a deepwater oil leak. Now I fully understand that BP’s objective, as with any corporate entity, is to maximize productivity and accompanying profits. But, as Dick Polman, a highly regarded political columnist notes, they should have first done due diligence on all precautions that would have allowed BP to “act as a steward for the public interest in a fragile ecosystem.”

Proper preparation encompasses three ingredients: advance planning, the wherewithal to adapt, and the ability to adjust. Mr. Hayward and his organization have miserably failed on all three counts. Unlike my Philadelphia Flyers, they simply don’t have the look of a champion…

-Neal

If there’s a sport other than golf that can evoke a plethora of emotions so dichotomous to one another (relaxation vs. frustration, joy vs. rage), I’ve yet to come across it. I took-up the sport in earnest about ten years ago. I’m talking lessons followed by practice, more lessons followed by more practice, more lessons followed by…well, you get the idea. I actually felt a not so small measure of terror the day I played my first round, but once I made it off the first tee (yes, I had to take a mulligan), I was fine. I dissolved into the beauty of the course, letting the privacy it offered from the outside world shield me from my mundane daily responsibilities and worries.

Flashing forward to today finds my clubs gathering dust in the closet, not having played one round in the last few years. I’ve only been to the local driving range one time in recent memory. There’s no rhyme or reason why this has happened. My wife and I still vow to play the game some day (note: this is the only sport my wife will partake with me); the thought of all those lessons (and money) going for naught doesn’t sit well with us. More importantly, we simply had a good time during our brief affair with the game.

  In the course of some of my recent leisurely reading, I’ve come across a new set of “rules” for golf that I think will dramatically increase my resolve to stick with it the next time I pick-up my clubs; in fact, I strongly believe all 50 plus males who have a passion for the game may find  an uptick in their level of enjoyment should they decide to play by these new “rules,” so graciously proposed by Mr. Donald A. Metz of Devon, Pa.

Here are a few of his more important changes I can live with:

1. On beginning play, as many balls as may be required to obtain a satisfactory result may be played from the first tee. Everyone recognizes a good player needs to “loosen up” but does not have time for the practice tee.

2. A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled in the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball, and the player should not be penalized for erratic behavior of the ball resulting from such uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.

3. A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree, and play the ball from there, preferably from atop a nice tuft of grass.

4. There is no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course somewhere and eventually will be found and pocketed by someone else. It thus becomes a stolen ball, and the player should not compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty stroke.

5. If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop.

6. A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as “you could blow it in” may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants to make a travesty of the game.

I know what you’re saying, “Bobby Jones must be rolling over in his grave,” but just think how much more pleasurable the 19th hole would be for everyone…

-Neal

This posting is a follow-up to my August 3rd post in The 50 Plus Male, “Refining The Physically Fit Male—Surviving The Urban Jungle.” I regard that as one of my more important editorial pieces since it revolves around improving our health, specifically in the “newly” recognized area of functional fitness.

While the August post dealt with the MovNat fitness philosophy, today I want to introduce two specific pieces of fitness equipment that many 50 plus males may prefer to utilize as an addition to or in lieu of use of free weights. First we will discuss TRX suspension training, followed by a brief discourse on working out with bands.

The TRX (total resistance exercise) system was invented by ex-Navy SEAL squadron commander, Randy Hetrick,  when he was seeking a way to keep his men in shape with an apparatus they could use in any type of environment. The TRX is basically two industrial-grade nylon straps with cam buckles sewn to rubber handles (for your hands) and foot cradles, attached to an additional anchor strap/carabiner that you can connect to a beam, tree limb or any other type of firm anchor . The entire piece only weighs a couple of pounds and can be kept in a companion mesh storage bag.

  The result is a highly efficient suspension system that uses your own body weight for resistance. When your feet are suspended, you are forced to engage your core muscles. You can adjust the straps and the position of your body to develop your own personalized workout because these actions will  increase or decrease the level of difficulty for a given exercise. Don’t worry if the idea of even minimal suspension seems too daunting; you can just grip the handles and lean back to perform multiple exercises that cover the major muscle groups. By enabling you to increase your strength, flexibility and balance simultaneously, you are provided with a well-rounded functional fitness routine that allows you to better handle life’s daily mundane requirements such as lifting and climbing. For more information you can visit the TRX web site, www.fitnessanywhere.com.

Many of us, especially when we were “south” of 50 years old, only equated strength training with free weights. Nothing else was considered other than grunting and sweating while we pumped iron.  Well, I’d like to remind you of another type of strength-training apparatus, elastic bands; basically  surgical-grade elastic latex tubing (found in premium band systems) of varying lengths and colors attached to plastic handles encased in foam, with a door anchor component at the other end.  Length and color denote the varying amounts of tension when the tubing is stretched. The handles will have carabiners attached (once again, only in high-quality kits) that enable you to instantly click on various combinations of the tubing to enlist a multitude of resistance-level choices. 

The bands allow you to mimic almost any type of sports movement and can provide many benefits:   increasing your strength/boosting your aerobic conditioning/adding muscle/reducing your chance of sports-related injury. You’ll find yourself burning calories much more efficiently while improving cardiovascular fitness. As with suspension training, band training can pretty much be done anywhere. This is particularly beneficial for those of us 50 plus males who travel extensively for business.

I can recommend two band systems for you. The first is made by Bodylastics, found at www.bodylastics.com. (For full disclosure purposes, I must note  this system is also offered through The 50 Plus Male Store, but I’m not pushing this system over any other; it’s ultimately up to you to decide). The second system is the SuperBand system (www.ihpfit.com), developed by J.C. Santana, M.Ed., C.S.C.S., of the Institute of Human Performance in Florida. Mr. Santana is one of the country’s leading authorities on band training, and has been written about in Men’s Health magazine. One final note of caution: care must be taken when exercising with bands in combination with the door anchor component.  Please make sure the bands are securely anchored in the door; if not and the bands break free from the door, they can snap back and hit you—possibly resulting in significantly painful injury anywhere in your lower extremities (guys, I’m talking about a major ouch and discoloration; you won’t have any “spring to your step” for a couple of days).

Folks, I don’t presume to present myself as a fitness expert…my sole intention is to educate you on proven functional exercise alternatives to your current regime. Both the TRX system and exercise bands are used in many fitness facilities throughout the U.S., which provide utilization and safety guidance. For use at home, premium-grade systems will offer an instruction book supplemented with a training DVD.

-Neal

“Happy times are here again”…no guys, I’m not singing the familiar refrain from the tune of the same name written in 1929 that served as FDR’s Presidential campaign song in 1932, has appeared in countless movie soundtracks, and is best known by our generation as the unofficial theme song of the Democratic party.  I’m in an upbeat mood because my hometown baseball team, the Phillies, clinched the National League Easter Division crown last night and are headed for the playoffs.  Let’s face it, October baseball is played at a much more entertaining and intense level than any other part of the season. 

This is the third straight year the Phillies have accomplished this feat, a mark of consistency generally not occurring  with great frequency in the world of sports these days.  Yes, we’ve had our  teams of each decade:  for example, the ‘70’s crown belonging to the Pittsburgh Steelers in football, and the ‘90’s crown resting with the Chicago Bulls in basketball.  The true kings of consistency in sports, possibly for all-time, are the Red Auerbach/Bill Russell-led Boston Celtics and the venerable New York Yankees of yesteryear baseball lore. I raise the consistency theme because it’s doubtful we will ever see real dynasties in sports again.  Nowadays, if a team is fortunate enough to win two consecutive championships, “dynasty” begins appearing in our sports columns.

While many of us 50 plus males have yet to reach senior-citizen status, we are old enough to remember when the makeup of our hometown teams’ personnel didn’t vary from year-to-year nearly to the degree it does today.  Now, in the era of big-money sports where owners and fans alike are thinking “what have you done for us lately,” we find ourselves in many cases rooting for this year’s rent-a-team, as player loyalty is no longer defined by playing on a specific team for the long-term; today it’s all about the dollars and serving as hired mercenaries to the highest bidders (admittedly, sports agents are major culprits here too). 

So, while the good times have arrived for fans of the eight playoff-bound baseball teams, how many of you are truly emotionally vested in the outcome?  Unless the core of your team has been home-grown through its farm system and buttressed with maybe a couple of key trades through the years, as opposed to the wholesale annual personnel moves that have become the norm, asking for your ardent loyalty isn’t warranted.  There’s nothing wrong with having passion for the game; sports after all provides a primary outlet for us to live our dreams though the pros and vent by the water cooler.  Yes, many towns still have rabid team fans, particularly for football domestically and soccer world-side, but we 50 plus males know the difference between frenzied behavior versus indisputable sentimental loyalty.

-Neal  

note:  “Happy Days Are Here Again” song facts courtesy Wikipedia

My first sign was that I had become a step slower; the younger guys were beating my defense.  Then came more telling signs such as hamstring pulls, cramps in my calves and finally, a torn rotator cuff (which required an operation resulting in the insertion of four pins into my shoulder).  In short, the mind was willing, but the body was not…basketball, football, it didn’t matter; I simply wasn’t the “old me.”

A relatively new term, “boomeritis,” has been coined by a well-known and respected orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Nicholas DiNubile, who has treated members of the Philadelphia 76ers basketball team and Philadelphia Ballet.  The term refers to what Dr. DiNubile, in an msnbc.com article by Lisa Daniels, calls a mind-body mismatch that describes the alarming increase in sports-related injuries suffered by middle-age patients (i.e. boomers).  Many of us 50 plus males fall into this category.

Let’s face it, we all would like to turn back the clock and athletically perform at the same levels as we did 20-30 years ago.  To this end, many of us push ourselves beyond acceptable limits in our efforts to remain physically fit.  Walk into any health club and you’d be amazed at the portion of   members comprised by people 50 plus years of age. Have you noticed the large number of “mature” men and women competing in 10K races and even triathlons in your locale?  This certainly isn’t a disturbing phenomenon, it’s just that we’re not following proper exercise regimens in many cases.  Some of us are also totally caught-up in our work during the week and have consequently become weekend warriors.

In a Sept. 20th article in The Philadelphia Inquirer written by Lini S. Kadaba, 60 year old Los Angeles-based sociologist BJ Gallagher is quoted as saying that “intense physical exertion is to be expected by folks who have traditionally broken the rules…we’ve defied authority and now we’re attempting to defy Mother Nature.”  The key is to listen to your body and know when to exercise (pardon the pun) some restraint.  You know that eating moderately will help keep your weight down; doesn’t it follow that moderation in physical activity will help reduce your chance of injury?

For many of us, our DNA won’t allow us to stop pushing ourselves when it comes to workouts or participation in sports.  We need to learn that vanity and ego have to take a back seat to common sense.  It doesn’t necessarily mean any loss of swagger, just less immobility and discomfort.

-Neal