The 50 Plus Male

As we approach the New Year, many people are ruminating about recent misgivings and sins, simultaneously readying themselves for commitment to yet another list of personal resolutions. We all know how this generally works out…a couple of promises are pursued with purposeful intent while most of our list inadvertently falls by the wayside.

While each of us wrangle with our own efforts at righting the past year’s wrongs, I’d like to  leave The 50 Plus Male readers with a New Year’s present of some principles and instructions from The Official Rules by Paul Dickson, a collection published over thirty years ago. I’m dividing these gems for dealing with life’s struggles into three parts:  Everyday Living, Career, and Humorous Tidbits.

Everyday Living 

What man really fears is not so much extinction, but extinction with insignificance.~Ernest Becker

When inequality is the general rule in society, the greatest inequalities attract no attention.~ De Tocqueville

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.~Durant’s Discovery

The proof that you know something is that you are able to teach it.~Aristotle

If you want to kill any idea in the world today, get a committee working on it.~Chas. Kettering

A fool in high station is like a man on the top of a high mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody~Matsch’s Maxim

Unless you put your money to work for you—you work for your money~Miller’s Law

Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you’re not.~Professional’s Law

You can observe a lot just by watching.~Yogi Berra

Career

Pay attention to the details—your customers do.~S. Chowdhury

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.~Economists’ Law

People will buy anything that’s one to a customer.~Sinclair Lewis

The longer the title, the less important the job.~McGovern’s Law

Our customer’s paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss.~Brown’s Law of Business Success

In any organization, the potential is much greater for the subordinate to manage his superior than for the superior to manage his subordinate.~Rodovic’s Rule

All technology expands the space, contracts the time, and destroys the working group.~Rosenstock-Huessy’s Law of Technology

The minute you sign a client is the minute you start to lose him.~Public Relations Client Turnover Law

Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.~Woman’s Equation

Humorous Tidbits

Never eat a a place called Mom’s, play cards with a man named Doc, or lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.~Algren

Anybody can win—unless there happens to be a second entry.~Ade’s Law

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.~Crane’s Rule

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.~Fischer’s Finding

The good parking places are always on the other side of the street.~Gumperson’s Law

Nice guys finish fast.~First Rule of Public Speaking

It works better if you plug it in.~Sattingler’s Law

You’re not drunk enough if you can lie on the floor without holding on.~Dean Martin

In closing out The 50 Plus Male for the calendar year, I want to wish all of you a safe, healthy, prosperous New Year. Thank you for your loyalty and support, my appreciation is limitless. We all hope for a calmer 2010 than the wild gyrations of 2009, but “while hope may be eternal, it’s not a strategy”… and remember you always need three umbrellas: one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to leave on the train.

-Neal

In early Spring 2009, I read an on-line article published on MSN.com written by John W. Schoen, entitled “Boomers Face Stark Choices in Bleak Economy.” I felt the piece was so acutely on-point in terms of clarity and my personal situation at the time that I composed a rather lengthy email to Mr. Schoen praising him for his efforts.

Mr. Schoen’s article is part of a series called Reinventing America. While I’ve provided you a link to his piece, I’ll list the salient points in broad brushstrokes for you:

1. The collapse of the financial, housing, and job markets is causing the American Dream to disappear and boomers now find themselves in unimaginable, inexplicable straits. Many of us will be working later in life than originally planned at stagnant or decreased compensation levels.

2. In addition to the blow of boomers facing losses in their retirement accounts due to Wall Street’s recent collapse, many are depleting them to meet basic living expenses.

3. Boomers, representing the generation born to post-war families who rejoiced in the “good times that lay ahead,” are experiencing a palpable shift away from similar expectations. Our currently woeful economic climate will last longer than anything we’re used to, forcing many of us to question whether we will ever return to prosperity.

4. Many of us may have already seen our peak earning years surprisingly fade away at a much younger age than ever anticipated.

5. Some job skills are no longer transferrable due to becoming obsolete.

6. Losing our jobs, even under exigent circumstances, has usurped much of our pride and caused people to isolate themselves and not want to reach out for help.

7. Many baby boomers are encountering age discrimination in the course of job-hunting and their experience and advanced skill-sets are not what many cost-conscious employers are seeking.

8. All of this is causing many of us to reinvent ourselves in the pursuit of new careers, and this was not in our original game plan. For many boomers, reinventing oneself is not only difficult, but practically impossible.

9. The financial advice we’ve received during the past couple of decades (investing in the stock market and holding for the long-term, sacrificing to feed your IRA’s and 401 K’s) has come with greater than anticipated risk

10. Anxiety and stress levels have shot through the roof and many of us feel that our upcoming/present “golden years” have become permanently tarnished.

In December 2009 Mr. Schoen wrote another article, “Bleak Job Scene Poses Challenge for Obama.” This article deals with the slight economic recovery coupled with the continuing bleak job outlook that is not likely to dissipate anytime in the near future. I touched on this perplexing phenomenon in a previous post, Calling for George.

Points discussed by Mr. Schoen include:

1. Don’t be fooled by the recent slowing of job losses; any kind of recovery is going to be a long, arduous process…particularly the rehiring of so many displaced workers.

2. The stimulus package is slowly impacting our economy favorably, but lingering questions remain…is it enough or are additional measures by our government needed?/is there much more the government can or should do to stimulate job creation?

3. Unemployment figures are misleading; they do not count discouraged workers (people who have given up looking for a job) or the underemployed. Count these groups and the unemployment figure dramatically rises.

4. The current recession outstrips the previous one in scope.

5. The belief that an increased demand for products and services will give reason for employers to hire is a key impetus behind the extension of unemployment benefits (even though extensions add to our federal debt).

6. Increasing access to credit for small businesses will be a chief component of any recovery, but there is debate over how to best accomplish this, be it through tax cuts or an additional stimulus package.

After reading this article, I once again got in touch with Mr. Schoen. I’m happy to report that Mr. Schoen nicely sent swift replies to both of my emails. I’d like to share some of his thoughts with you.

According to Mr. Schoen, “’Boomers Face Stark Choices…” was one of the toughest stories he’s had to write in 30 years of reporting; in fact a portion of it was autobiographical. Many of the men he spoke to while composing the article had similar feelings to what I had expressed in my reply email, “the deep need to provide for family and a feeling of profound failure when we are no longer able to do so—or at least in a manner we believe we should.”  Mr. Schoen calls this our “cave man” DNA.

Mr. Schoen also stated that “I heard from many couples that the experience has brought them closer together, partly out of necessity. But adversity does force you to ask questions you might not otherwise and forces choices you may have been avoiding. Maybe it’s because most couples who have made it this far come to the realization that they’re not in it for the money.”

Regarding the “Bleak Job Scene Poses Challenge…” article, Mr. Schoen wrote to me acknowledging “since our last correspondence, I had heard from hundreds more 50-somethings who report things are getting worse, not better. Some have burned through savings trying to ‘do the right thing’ by paying off an underwater mortgage, only to lose the house after many months/years trying to get a break from their lender. A few I’ve met are on the verge of homelessness and this prospect seems very real to many more.”

Mr. Schoen has found, however, that many of his readers seem to be moving ahead into this new, unexpected phase in their lives with renewed energy. “They have no choice” said Mr. Schoen. “They feel there’s no sense in letting themselves get depressed and bitter.”

He goes on to say that there is also a wider mood amongst his readers of what he calls “recession  fatigue.” There is a great desire on everyone’s part to see the glass half full, to acknowledge “things are bad but maintain hope that we’re all through the worst and life will be back to normal in a few months or years.” Unfortunately, this yearning seems to be hampering meaningful solutions to very real, persistent problems. The panic is over, but the long-term damage still requires serious repair.

In the end, echoing Mr. Schoen’s thoughts, no matter what happens, we’re all going to be profoundly changed; hopefully it will be for the better.

-Neal

Few instances in life are more jolting than being told you have cancer. A few years ago I had a distressing urinary problem that initiated my first-ever visit to a urologist. The diagnosis was a bleeding cyst on my bladder, which I learned was a symptom of possible bladder cancer. Thank goodness, it was benign. Other than the untimely death of my father at a very young age (he was only 40) from a heart attack, nothing else in life besides that episode had taught me to appreciate life and treat each day as a gift.

Then, in March 2008, our family was hit by another fastball—my mother was diagnosed with Stage IIB lung cancer. She had just celebrated her 78th birthday and other than a slight hearing problem in one ear, was (so we thought) in remarkable health. She looked at least ten years younger and lived a full, active life filled with a loyal circle of friends, a zest for travel (including a recent trek to Africa!), while still working at a local law office two days/week. I’m ecstatic to report she is a survivor and her future prognosis couldn’t be brighter! My mother’s “adventure” struck my family to the core, but from the beginning, we provided a cohesive inner support team that functioned as one. We learned a lot, first and foremost how my mother re-defined the word “bravery,” but most importantly for you, some basic steps that should be undertaken if such a calamity strikes a member of your family or a friend.

The first piece of information details why I’m writing about this subject matter in The 50 Plus Male…cancer is predominantly a disease of older people. It’s estimated that about 60% of all new cancer cases occurs in the 65+ age category for both men and women. My mother was a smoker until she turned 40, and never showed any symptoms of lung cancer, but aging presents increased health risks and ‘lo and behold,’ her previous smoking habit determined it was pay-up time. 

Second is the crucial need for a strong support team for the patient. Don’t treat the word “cancer” or the actual condition as an anathema; it may sound harsh, but support team members need to just get over it and deal with it. It’s time to rally the troops, not spend precious time in a stupor. My wife and I, along with my brother and sister-in-law immediately came to my mother’s side to help her deal with the initial emotional trauma upon hearing the news from the doctor. Trust me, this is not a time for a loved one to be alone.

Next piece of advice—the support team needs to become ardent students of the particular form of cancer. My brother and I literally lived on the internet for the first couple of days, gathering numerous articles on both lung cancer and the best doctors/hospitals to consult. You shouldn’t ever, in my opinion, stop your learning cycle after just a couple of days, but we wanted to accumulate enough info as fast as possible to begin planning with our mother for how to proceed. She appreciated the concern and speed; it helped her get a grip on the situation. We narrowed our list of doctors/hospitals to six, and after numerous phone calls with some of my mother’s friends who had successfully battled cancer, along with recommendations from our own family doctors and an ensuing discussion with our mother, we narrowed the choices to three. My brother and I then placed calls to the three  doctors, who were very responsive upon hearing of our mother’s condition. We gave them credit, we surprisingly didn’t have to chase them down.

The common thread you should be noticing at this point is that we included my mother in every activity being undertaken. She was looking for us to manage the majority of the ground work (she didn’t sit idly by—she quickly became her own best student), but it’s integral that you don’t give the patient any sort of impression that they are an “island unto them self.” Ultimately, my mother made the final choice for where to go for her care.

The next suggestion deals with every doctor visit, but especially the initial consult. If there is ever a time where the patient’s mind is going to be off somewhere in la-la land, this is it. Powers of concentration from the patient, no matter how strongly they may be under normal circumstances, cannot be assumed by family members. Someone has to be by their side fully digesting what the doctor discusses and taking detailed notes. I also strongly suggest you bring a prepared list of questions gleaned from the research you’ve done beforehand. If you even sense the doctor is growing weary of the questioning, ignore it and press on. If the doctor has any sense, he’ll appreciate your preparedness; this helps form a constructive working relationship between all parties. Remember, you want answers, not a new friend!

The acute need to constantly remain aware of our mother’s emotional and spiritual state was paramount. She was rightly riding a roller coaster of emotions and it was up to us to both appreciate this fact and deal with it appropriately.

Once the treatment plan was finalized (biopsies/removal of a portion of my mother’s left lung), we took a few days to absorb everything; this was OK’d by the doctor.  Just getting to this point is exhaustive for all parties, not just the patient. While the game plan was to schedule the procedures ASAP, taking a couple of days off from all the running around and having thoughtful discussion was a blessing for everyone.

My sincere wish at this point is that your loved one’s operation goes as smoothly as my mother’s…she was talkative and inquisitive as soon as she was released from recovery and brought to her room. What a trooper—she was calming us down! Now, however, comes the après operation agenda.

A successful operation does not necessarily preclude a decisive decline in the patient’s emotional or spiritual trip to this point; we quickly learned through discussion with our mother and the doctor that a new set of concerns needed our attention, such as immediate post-op care (ex. radiation, chemotherapy), any possibility of physical limitations, long-term medical requirements (blood testing, follow-up doctor visitations, etc.), and financial-related questions.

As this post is already getting a bit lengthy, I will limit my discussion to only one of the aforementioned items—immediate post-op care. After discussion with the (new) doctor who would be in charge of the next stage of her care, my mother decided on chemotherapy. A word of caution so you won’t be shocked…you will  surprisingly be advised that undergoing chemotherapy as a preventative measure of cancer recurrence only produces minimal benefits in this regard.

If your loved one decides on chemotherapy, please be advised that you may want to accompany them  to the chemotherapy room, along with the presiding nurse, for their initial visit when they are given “the lay of the land” (in other words, before their first treatment). This can be a real shock, as the patient enters a room that can accommodate upwards of thirty-plus people at a time who are hooked-up to tubes. It can be a disturbing sight and produce a rush of emotion from your loved one; my mother’s eyes immediately started welling up. I instinctively turned to her and said ”I know what you’re thinking–what am I doing here?” I very gently put my arms around her and provided the answer—“this is where you finish getting well.” Needless to say, I joined her for the first two chemo appointments and by then, my mom was a pro and no longer craved company by her side. Credit to a wonderful nursing staff must be mentioned here.

Finally, my mother had requested communication with family and friends by us be kept to a minimum until after the operation, but we did not sway from interjecting our feelings as to when to fully enlist their support; effectively widening her circle of comfort. There were times we had to “override” my mother’s objections about who to include on the calling list; you will need to give this step some thought in terms of who can best be a real friend as opposed to just being a “busybody” who only wants to be kept up-to-date without truly acting as a source of strength.

Obviously, I’m not a medical professional, just someone with a modicum of common sense. I hope this discourse helps you…

-Neal

The current travails faced by Tiger Woods have become one of the lead stories for our national news outlets. On TV you don’t have to wait for the sports report typically airing during the second half of most newscasts; due to Tiger’s worldwide celebrity, he’s getting top billing along with our Mideast conflicts and economic woes.

I’m not surprised by this, but I am troubled. In the normal course of events involving a well-known public figure, it’s almost inevitable that true reporting of thoroughly checked details will soon digress into fodder for tabloids and other less venerable medial outlets. In Tiger Woods’ case, the (so far) implied salaciousness of the facts have already provided the framework for this habitual media activity…because news outlets (both legitimate and otherwise) are well aware that the public’s thirst for these stories is insatiable.

Why do we care so much?  Is it because we rejoice in seeing the mighty fall? I would first lay fault for this unbridled, yet disturbing public curiosity at the doorstep of what I call the “M Factor.” This is a term I’ve used throughout my working life whenever I encountered behavior in the workplace that was totally devoid of maturity…that’s how I define the “M Factor;” an absence of maturity in the situation at-hand. I seem to be in the minority when I state that I don’t think Tiger Woods owes anyone, other than his immediate family, an explanation for his current strife. I wasn’t always so blasé or easily forgiving; it’s just that being a 50 plus male has taught me what is truly important, and I now regard such “news” with near disdain.  I find myself wanting to shout “people, grow-up and act like an adult!”

Just think in terms of your everyday encounters, both personal and career-related, and how much more thoughtfully and pleasantly the day would have progressed if people learned to “leave their egos at the door” and act in a fully mature manner. I know what you may be thinking…emotion always comes into play, and that’s a big reason for the appearance of the “M Factor.” But those of us who have passed the 50 years of age plateau, having had the benefit of “seasoning” in what life has to offer, should be leaders in exhibiting mature ethical behavior.

I do not mean to sound condescending or judgmental. To quote Tiger, “I’m am not without faults.” My intent is to merely suggest we learn how to pause and think before we act…live the life of a rational, mature and responsible adult, focusing on the truly important aspects of our lives.

-Neal

On October 17th, in our News You Can Use post, I promised you a special upcoming treat–an introduction to the art of crafting the perfect cocktail–a practice held near and dear by many 50 plus males as a prerequisite for enjoying one of our favorite social activities, the cocktail hour. While imbibing our favorite beer still (happily) remains a cornerstone of the “happy hour” past-time, entry into the 50 plus age category is often accompanied by an inclination to quench our thirst with more cosmopolitan offerings.

We are privileged to have Josh H., the author of his own blog, Spirited Cocktails, and very good friend of The 50 Plus Male, serve as guest contributor for this post. Spirited Cocktails is ”dedicated to the craft of the perfect cocktail” through introducing you to some of the country’s most renowned  mixologists, along with Josh’s own expertise gained through completion of comprehensive course work in the field, such as BarSmarts Live and classes/seminars at the International Culinary Center.

As Josh states in his blog, “what reason is there to drink if not for your own enjoyment?” Beer, wine, and the basics (ex. gin & tonic) deservedly serve as the “standard bearers” of cocktail hour, but your palate may be missing out on a world of creative experimentation that can only heighten that enjoyment. Josh makes all of this accessible without the slightest hint of pretension, aptly underpinning his motto, “there are drinks, and then there are cocktails.” Resulting from my  discussions with Josh, we thought it best to begin with The 50 Plus Male readers learning how to perfectly concoct one of our more stalwart cocktails, the Martini; without further adieu, here’s Josh…

One of the best parts of writing about cocktails and spirits is that the audience is nearly universal. I actually come from a technology background where, with a few exceptions, there wasn’t much diversity in the crowd. But writing about spirits on Spirited Cocktails, I’ve met so many people from so many different backgrounds and walks of life, and it truly enriches my experience.

All of that being said, there are a few mainstay groups of the cocktail world, and one of them includes men of the baby-boomer generation. When I meet these guys at various bars and events around New York City, they’re generally the type that appreciate the classic cocktails – Manhattans, Old Fashioneds, Gimlets and so on. And of all the cocktails that the 50 plus male seem to appreciate, none comes up more frequently than the Martini.

There’s a folk lore surrounding martini. It’s probably something we should blame on James Bond, but it seems that everyone has their own recipe for the perfect martini. To be clear, though, in my mind, a martini is not any cocktail served in a martini glass (Appletinis are most certainly not martinis). Again, in my mind, a martini is a cocktail made with gin, not vodka. Many of you may prefer vodka, and that is certainly your choice, but if you’ve never prepared a classic gin martini with a quality gin, I strongly urge you to give it a try.

So for those of you who may not be used to preparing your own martini, I wanted to share two variations that might help you get started.

The first is the classic dry martini. This recipe dates back to around 1895, and is my preferred method when preparing martinis for my guests. The recipe is as follows:

1.5oz gin (I prefer a London Dry gin, such as Beefeater 24)
1.5oz French dry vermouth
1-2 dashes orange bitters

Combine all ingredients in a mixing glass with fresh ice, stir well to chill, and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a peel of orange or lemon.

Those that prefer the extra dry variety may prefer this more modern recipe:

3 oz gin
1/8oz French dry vermouth

To make this extra dry, add ice and the vermouth to your mixing glass. Swirl to coat the ice with vermouth, and strain off the excess. Add your gin, stir well to chill, and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. The traditional garnish for this variation is a pitted Spanish olive.

A few notes:

-Yes, I said stirred. The general rule of thumb is that any cocktail made with only spirits (no citrus juice, sugar, etc.) should be stirred. A shaken martini is a cloudy martini, and probably a bit too watered down as well.
-The orange bitters in the classic recipe may be unfamiliar to you, but trust me – it’s a worthy addition. A dash or two of bitters in any cocktail can go a long way towards providing the depth and character that makes a good cocktail great. If you can’t find orange bitters in your local grocery or liquor store, you can order them online from my friend Greg at Cocktail Kingdom. 
-As with any cocktail (just as in cooking), the quality of ingredients matters. Use a cheap gin, and you’ll get what you paid for. Gin has seen a wonderful resurgence in the past decade, and there are some wonderful, high quality gins for you to chose from. For a martini, a classic London Dry like Beefeater or Tanqueray probably works best. But some other brands worth trying for your home bar include Plymouth, Hendricks, and my favorite hometown gin, Blue Coat (distilled in Philadelphia!)

If you’ve got a favorite recipe for a classic martini, I’d love to hear it. You can reach me anytime via my blog (Neal has provided links above and in his Blogroll).

Cheers!

-Josh

I’d like to sincerely extend a “toast” to Josh for sharing his wisdom and enthusiasm with The 50 Plus Male. We eagerly look forward to future visits with Josh to gain expertise on a variety of basic and exotic cocktails!

-Neal

I recently heard an announcer on one of our local sports talk radio stations initiate a new call-in segment with the listening audience called “I Just Don’t Get It.” He limited his list to sports personalities and storylines and kept his listeners within the same parameters. This got me to thinking about news items and personalities “I just don’t get,” while confining my choices to topics and people revolving around 50 plus males. 

These are some items that make me scratch my head in wonderment; please feel encouraged to submit any that you think of to The 50 Plus Male by clicking on the “Leave a Comment” link at the top of this post…

1. How has the Geezer Bandit (as I compose this post) alluded the FBI?

2. How anyone, let alone a 73 year-old, has run 400 marathons?

3. How did Tom DeLay last more than one week on “Dancing With The Stars?”

4. How Clint Eastwood continues to make movies that are qualitatively better than 99% of anything else currently playing AND composes his own movie soundtracks?

5. How does a 73 year old (must be some kind of magic number) Japanese guy become a leading porn star in his country?

6. How does Jack LaLanne keep going…it can’t be the Power Juicer?

7. How has Senator Byrd (D-WV) kept his seat in Congress all these years?

8. Whenever we think of Michael Douglas being married to a much younger Catherine Zeta-Jones, a rakish smile crosses our faces while a “not so small” tinge of jealousy emotes from our gut; whereas thoughts of Madonna and Jesus Luz produce outright laughter and guttural disgust.

9. Why some graybeard rock bands (Rolling Stones, Aerosmith et. al.) still carry on like they are in their twenties?

10. How ex-President George H. W. Bush (aka 41) still has the cajones to skydive every five years or so on his birthday? (Tip of the hat to him…)

11. Why guys over 50 are generally thought to lack technical prowess by the younger set, yet many of the kings of Computerland, USA (Silicon Valley, Redmond, etc.) like Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Eric Schmidt, and Larry Ellison are over 50 years of age?

12. Now I’m reading that we may begin losing our financial smarts after the age of 53…anyone ever hear of Ben Bernanke, Hank Paulson, Paul Volcker, Paul Krugman, Jamie Dimon?

This list could stretch on ad infinitum; the point is…“I just don’t get it.”

-Neal

The topic for this post was prompted by one of my recent tweets on Twitter–Sad sign of the times represented by the new oxymoron in financial markets: “jobless recovery;” explain that to the unemployed. No doubt many of you have heard this phrase uttered by various financial pundits, and have read newspaper articles on this subject matter. My hometown paper, The Philadelphia Inquirer, had the following quote from the chief economic strategist of an investment firm in the Business Section of a recent Sunday edition: “What we’re seeing is a validation of the idea that a jobless recovery is perfectly on track.”

If you’re thinking that’s only one example, a locally circulated newspaper in my county, The Intelligencer, in the November 10th edition, lead the Business Section with an article entitled “Dow  jumps 204 to high for year.” Immediately to the left of this headline in the Money Wrap column, the first article was “J&J to lay off 174 in Lower Gwynedd” referring to Johnson & Johnson letting go of 174 employees at its research and development center in Lower Gwynedd, PA as part of its layoff of 8000 workers worldwide.

For the millions of people unemployed or employed but seeking new jobs/careers, this thinking has to hit you in the gut on many levels. If you’re a 50 plus year old male, it’s almost incomprehensible to conceive of a rising stock market while the unemployment levels reach highs not seen in over twenty years, especially considering that the approximate 10% figure currently reported does not include those  of us who are only working part-time or have given up looking for work altogether. Include these economic segments and the 10% unemployment figure almost doubles…

• Now I don’t mean to appear naive in a strict financial sense; obviously it’s all about the dollars. Joel Naroff, a well-known economist, said "…survival meant cutting costs as rapidly as possible and fulfilling orders with the fewest number of workers” in another recent  article on rising productivity and falling employment. It’s a given that controlling the cost-side of the ledger is an integral function of both nascent and well-established employers; but our economy is kidding itself if growth is to continue resulting from only exercising a sharp pencil or through M&A activity…what about organic growth, that is increasing actual sales. This is a surer sign of real growth that can lead to decreased unemployment levels, as companies would hopefully have the basis to expand and hire.

If you’re of that certain age (50 plus), a healthy economy and low unemployment levels always went hand-in-hand. It’s a new world out there that requires a new (not necessarily better in a moral sense) way of thinking.  I alluded to this in my September 24th post “Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks.” Finding work and/or changing careers is particularly challenging for our age group and one of the more demeaning hazards so puzzling to us is the utter lack of courtesy encountered during the job application and interview process.

How many times have any of you dealt with one or all of the following roadblocks:

1. You get an email about a position from a recruiter who has come across your online resume/you reply stating your interest/the recruiter never gets back in touch with you.

2. You reach the first interview stage (now generally done via telephone)/are told you’ll hear from the company re: scheduling a second interview/you never hear from them again even though you’ve appropriately followed-up to the initial interview.

3. You have an in-person interview and come fully prepared, through conducting research on the prospective employer, with a list of pertinent questions that you hope will highlight your appeal/you’re not given a chance to ask all of your items because the interviewer has too many other people to see that day.

4. You just completed what you felt was a terrific initial in-person interview and your interviewer obviously responded in kind because he/she says" “I’ll call you in a couple of days to schedule the next interview so you can also meet (insert other employees of the prospective firm here)”/you again follow-up appropriately, but don’t receive the call or an email, so you continue to follow-up and the interviewer continues to pull a disappearing act…

What has happened to basic common courtesy?! I understand the sheer volume of applicants for a given position may preclude a prospective employer from responding the way they should, but sometimes even an automated response is better than none at all. To all employers I would simply state “try putting yourself on the other side of the equation.” Lack of decency and empathy are sadly the new order of the day, and while reflecting poorly on the prospective employer, I would extrapolate this to society at-large.

George Carlin had an extremely funny, witty routine on oxymorons; I would have loved to heard him riff on “jobless recovery”…

-Neal

This posting is a follow-up to my August 3rd post in The 50 Plus Male, “Refining The Physically Fit Male—Surviving The Urban Jungle.” I regard that as one of my more important editorial pieces since it revolves around improving our health, specifically in the “newly” recognized area of functional fitness.

While the August post dealt with the MovNat fitness philosophy, today I want to introduce two specific pieces of fitness equipment that many 50 plus males may prefer to utilize as an addition to or in lieu of use of free weights. First we will discuss TRX suspension training, followed by a brief discourse on working out with bands.

The TRX (total resistance exercise) system was invented by ex-Navy SEAL squadron commander, Randy Hetrick,  when he was seeking a way to keep his men in shape with an apparatus they could use in any type of environment. The TRX is basically two industrial-grade nylon straps with cam buckles sewn to rubber handles (for your hands) and foot cradles, attached to an additional anchor strap/carabiner that you can connect to a beam, tree limb or any other type of firm anchor . The entire piece only weighs a couple of pounds and can be kept in a companion mesh storage bag.

  The result is a highly efficient suspension system that uses your own body weight for resistance. When your feet are suspended, you are forced to engage your core muscles. You can adjust the straps and the position of your body to develop your own personalized workout because these actions will  increase or decrease the level of difficulty for a given exercise. Don’t worry if the idea of even minimal suspension seems too daunting; you can just grip the handles and lean back to perform multiple exercises that cover the major muscle groups. By enabling you to increase your strength, flexibility and balance simultaneously, you are provided with a well-rounded functional fitness routine that allows you to better handle life’s daily mundane requirements such as lifting and climbing. For more information you can visit the TRX web site, www.fitnessanywhere.com.

Many of us, especially when we were “south” of 50 years old, only equated strength training with free weights. Nothing else was considered other than grunting and sweating while we pumped iron.  Well, I’d like to remind you of another type of strength-training apparatus, elastic bands; basically  surgical-grade elastic latex tubing (found in premium band systems) of varying lengths and colors attached to plastic handles encased in foam, with a door anchor component at the other end.  Length and color denote the varying amounts of tension when the tubing is stretched. The handles will have carabiners attached (once again, only in high-quality kits) that enable you to instantly click on various combinations of the tubing to enlist a multitude of resistance-level choices. 

The bands allow you to mimic almost any type of sports movement and can provide many benefits:   increasing your strength/boosting your aerobic conditioning/adding muscle/reducing your chance of sports-related injury. You’ll find yourself burning calories much more efficiently while improving cardiovascular fitness. As with suspension training, band training can pretty much be done anywhere. This is particularly beneficial for those of us 50 plus males who travel extensively for business.

I can recommend two band systems for you. The first is made by Bodylastics, found at www.bodylastics.com. (For full disclosure purposes, I must note  this system is also offered through The 50 Plus Male Store, but I’m not pushing this system over any other; it’s ultimately up to you to decide). The second system is the SuperBand system (www.ihpfit.com), developed by J.C. Santana, M.Ed., C.S.C.S., of the Institute of Human Performance in Florida. Mr. Santana is one of the country’s leading authorities on band training, and has been written about in Men’s Health magazine. One final note of caution: care must be taken when exercising with bands in combination with the door anchor component.  Please make sure the bands are securely anchored in the door; if not and the bands break free from the door, they can snap back and hit you—possibly resulting in significantly painful injury anywhere in your lower extremities (guys, I’m talking about a major ouch and discoloration; you won’t have any “spring to your step” for a couple of days).

Folks, I don’t presume to present myself as a fitness expert…my sole intention is to educate you on proven functional exercise alternatives to your current regime. Both the TRX system and exercise bands are used in many fitness facilities throughout the U.S., which provide utilization and safety guidance. For use at home, premium-grade systems will offer an instruction book supplemented with a training DVD.

-Neal

For many of today’s 50 plus year old males, fifty is regarded as “the new forty.” For the rest of us, fifty is fifty–plain and simple.  There are, however, decidedly different personal viewpoints that arise once we gentlemen hit the “big 5-0.” The most telling sign that our perspectives change is when a friend injects the comment “That’s not the way we used to think about it” during a conversation.

So, in deference to the inevitable, I present you with a list of some of the more poignant moments that capture these contradictions—please read in an across direction:

When you were younger than 50 years old…         Now that you’re 50+ years old…

“Nuff said…”

-Neal

Departing the “Single/Never Married” demographic group and entering the “Married” category didn’t occur for me until I was one month shy of my 36th birthday. This tidbit holds importance for two reasons: I dated for 18 years before meeting my wife, and I can honestly say I was ready to marry when the big day arrived. There’s a somewhat puzzling dynamic present within these two stages of my life, and I wonder how many 50 plus males join me in laying claim to this incongruity…during my dating years, I would often cook dinner at home for my “female companions,” while my married years have produced a notable dearth of kitchen activity on my part.

Inviting a woman home for dinner only occurred after we had enjoyed a few “standard” dates (going-out for dinners, drinks, movies, and shows) and reached a level of comfort and trust with  one another. I had taken Chinese cooking lessons in the evening at a township-sponsored course for adults for this very purpose. Wok cooking was relatively simple yet appeared fairly impressive; as long as I stuck to two or three tried-and-true recipes, I was master of my domain. Ethnic-style cooking only added to the aura of the evening.

A “time-out” is called for here; if you think I was cooking just to highlight my creative side, you’d be mistaken. If you think the effort was solely meant to underscore my growing feelings for the lady, you’d be half-right. I was also hoping the effort of preparing an exotic home-cooked meal presented under candlelight ignited the ultimate aphrodisiac…in other words, ”exotica for erotica.” Hey, if any of you guys are shaking your heads about now, you can quit kidding yourselves; admit it, many of you have tried the same…but as long as you remained a gentleman throughout the evening, couching this ulterior motive in thought only was basically harmless.

Flash forward through the past twenty-one years and you can count on two hands how many dinners I’ve prepared for my wife. I’m not even daring to count preparing simple pasta meals or being the self-proclaimed BBQ grill-master of the household; I’m referring to preparing a full-blown dinner from scratch. I do my share of the dishes and other clean-up chores, but for some reason, I have ceased to don the apron. I have a good friend named Frank, deservedly proud of his Italian heritage, who is a whiz at exhibiting a passion for cooking that would make his kinfolk proud. A sit-down at one of his (and wife Ina’s) dinners is akin to passing through the gates of Italian food heaven. My only problem is that my dessert many times consists of guilt topped with a layer of shame from a lack of similar effort on my part at home.

Don’t kid yourselves guys; take-out doesn’t count either in lessening the cooking load for your better half. At most, it grants you a day off from addressing the issue. But you’ll please excuse me if I don’t think about that now, I have to run out and pick-up the Chinese for dinner…

-Neal