The 50 Plus Male

Last week my Inbox contained an email that  brought a smile to my face.  My barber Ben, who some time ago had the foresight to start a business website to serve as the primary vehicle for his customers to book appointments and provide easy two-way communication access with his clientele, was planning to close early on an upcoming Friday to attend his fiftieth high school reunion.

Next April welcomes my fortieth reunion…the mere thought of forty years having passed since graduation causes me to shake my head in utter disbelief, not dismay mind you, just incredulity as to where the time has gone.  I can only imagine how fifty years is hitting Ben.

My high school’s reunion committee has dutifully remained intact and has provided yeoman service in organizing these class events every five years. My best friend of the past forty-some years, Jeff, is a member of the committee and I’m always kept abreast of the latest reunion news.  I’m proud to say that I’ve attended all but one of these soirees and am a better man for having done so.  I state this for simple, yet essential reasons…

Reunions are thought by some to be trivial in nature, holding no importance other than momentarily reconnecting with only those closest to you during your high school years.  I suggest this avenue of thought does not hold any weight.  A reunion, especially for us 50 plus males (and females) is an indicative milestone, and shouldn’t be regarded as an incidental snobbish milieu, as oft-expressed.  They are a chance to celebrate that “we’re still alive and cooking” and can render emotional and spiritual benefits as a by-product of the surprising magnitude of physical bonding that can take place if you can just let go of any trepidation or reluctance.  Don’t worry about possible recidivist high-school-like behavior; people do mature…so have you.

When I married, my intent was to proudly have my wife accompany me to my reunions.  After attending one function, Neets remarked that I’d probably have a better time without her (definite “code speak” that she was bored, though I made an effort to include Neets in as many introductions and conversations as possible). While I didn’t agree, I have consequently attended the last few reunions solo, and while I yearn for my wife’s company, the exuberance and friendliness I have encountered among my classmates at each reunion has been so remarkable that I now understand what Neets was suggesting…it’s a time for me to truly “live in the moment” and cherish fond memories of years gone by. 

So Ben, I understand the excitement you expressed to me during my last haircut; becoming a golden oldie (which my class will soon discover) is a badge of honor; it sure as hell beats the alternative.  Go forth and celebrate!

-Neal 

My immediate family has been graciously supportive of my efforts in the conception of this blog and my opening posts.  This support has extended to suggesting future topics to discuss in The 50 Plus Male.  During a conversation with my mother today, she broached the subject of baldness, an idea no doubt buoyed by the way her eyes inevitably drift up to my, shall we say, “less than hirsute head” whenever she visits.

I began to lose my hair in my late thirties.  There were clues leading to this:  my maternal grandfather was semi-bald and while I had a full Afro in college, my hair was wiry and on the thin side.  The good news, I suppose, is that the loss began and ended quickly.  The sides and back of my head are still full; it’s the top that has the vacancy sign flashing…we’re only 20% full…OK, maybe 15%!

Oddly enough, the way I get my hair cut has been all the rage the past couple of years for men with  my “condition.”  I keep my remaining hair extremely short, as in military-style short.  Having long ago abandoned the need for my barber to use scissors when cutting my hair, the instrument of choice is now solely the electric clippers.  Clippers can do varying amounts of damage shearing depending on whether you get cut with just the bare-bones clippers or also use the snap-on attachments all of us MPB ( male-pattern baldness) guys know as #1, 2, 3 or 4.  Use of the clippers without any attachment leaves your hair the shortest, while use of the clippers with an attachment leaves your hair progressively longer as the attachment # increases.

I used to get my entire head cut using the #2 attachment, a practice that went on for a couple of years. On a whim, I tried a haircut one day with the #1 and stuck with that for most of the past 10-12 years.  After seeing a number of MPB guys wearing their hair even shorter than me, I took the bold leap to getting cut without any attachment, just my skin and the clippers coming together for an eventful meeting.  After the initial shock of seeing me with a haircut “just this side” of the Bruce Willis look, my wife and family/friends strongly suggested going back to using the #1 for future cuts.  There was one problem with this unanimous request; I absolutely loved the new look, and continued with it until this past February.

That’s when I started going to a barber in my neighborhood (author’s note:  the 50 plus male’s relationship with his barber will be the subject of a future post) and he suggested getting a #1 on top and gradually fading to a 0 (as in bare-bones clippers) on the sides and back, since this would look like a more professional haircut.  This has become the de rigueur look.  I’m not going as far to say that my wife is placated, but she has stopped calling me “Bruce.”

-Neal