The 50 Plus Male

Well gang, it’s that festive time of year, and as my wife and I observe different religions, we celebrate Chrismakah (or is it Chanumas?)—heck, we find any description more personal than the politically correct “Happy Holidays!”

Pausing to reflect on what was a volatile 2010,  we can still agree there are many facets of life for which we can express our gratitude, even in these difficult times. Stretching this pensive exercise a bit enables us to also mention some things we’d be grateful for should they actually come to fruition in the near future.  So, without further delay, here are some personal thoughts that fall into both camps. All of these deeply appreciative declarations involve 50 Plus Males.

I’d be profoundly grateful if…

…John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, and Harry Reid would cease to continually look dour and solemn. Guys, I know you deal with weighty matters, but it’s OK to smile every now and then.

…Billy Joel would finally satisfy his orchestral muse, so he can get back to his roots and produce the kind of music he does best—straight ahead rock ’n’ roll; if Bruuuce can still do it, so can Billy.

…Harrison Ford would take out that ridiculous-looking earring.

…the age discrimination factor ever-present in our workplace (trust me, it’s real) would cease and desist, so that more unemployed 50 plus males could get a fair shake when applying for jobs. Most of us are technically proficient, and experience does count—stop thinking of this demographic as ready to be put out to pasture!

…every other commercial on television wasn’t for erectile dysfunction. I get it already—I’m in my fifties now and  can only go 3500 miles between oil changes.

…my body could recover from new forms of exercise as quickly as it used to. I recently borrowed the P90X Abs workout DVD from my younger brother and practically collapsed at the mid-point. The routine put such a strain on my thighs that I spent the next two days almost unable to lift my legs—I had to drop my pants on the floor each morning to step into them before pulling them up, literally grab my hamstring areas to lift my legs into the car, and do the same when getting into bed at night. Two days of shameful pain for me/two days of hysterical laughter from my brother—yeah, thanks for all the empathy bro’.

…my mother would stop pestering me about getting my next colonoscopy. I know it’s been six years since my first one, but I’ve been poked and prodded so often over the past few years for various medical procedures (who amongst us hasn’t?) that I’m not yet ready to take down the “NO TRESPASSING” sign hanging by my rear entrance.

I’m extremely grateful for…

…Art Buchwald, specifically his collective wit and wisdom in Down The Seine And Up The Potomac. All of today’s politicians should view this book as required reading so they can receive a healthy dose of humor. Buchwald’s voice is sorely missed.

…still possessing a wide spectrum of musical tastes. I equally enjoy Ozzy Osbourne, Aerosmith, Motown, Rhianna, and Akon while appreciating the genius that is Sinatra. You know what else I like—electronica club music—I’m 58 years old, go figure?!

…Jesse Ventura (nee James George Janos) anytime he gets a real haircut.

…having the sense to continue “the good fight” against an expanding waistline. I have a 34” waist, so when I look down I can clearly see my toes and reach them without bending my knees.

…having a mother who always remains concerned about her two boys. We should all be so lucky.

…all of my wonderful friendships that have spanned 35-40 years. I couldn’t ask for a better source of laughter and support.

…waking up every morning and staring across at the woman I so deeply love. Twenty-two years of marriage to a woman who always inspires me to be a better man than I was yesterday. Thanks honey.

…my readers. The 50 Plus Male couldn’t exist without you; it’s a sincere privilege communicating with such a vibrant group of folks who have so much to offer. Here’s hoping all of you keep up “the good fight.” Have a happy and healthy New Year.

-Neal

The topic for this post was prompted by one of my recent tweets on Twitter–Sad sign of the times represented by the new oxymoron in financial markets: “jobless recovery;” explain that to the unemployed. No doubt many of you have heard this phrase uttered by various financial pundits, and have read newspaper articles on this subject matter. My hometown paper, The Philadelphia Inquirer, had the following quote from the chief economic strategist of an investment firm in the Business Section of a recent Sunday edition: “What we’re seeing is a validation of the idea that a jobless recovery is perfectly on track.”

If you’re thinking that’s only one example, a locally circulated newspaper in my county, The Intelligencer, in the November 10th edition, lead the Business Section with an article entitled “Dow  jumps 204 to high for year.” Immediately to the left of this headline in the Money Wrap column, the first article was “J&J to lay off 174 in Lower Gwynedd” referring to Johnson & Johnson letting go of 174 employees at its research and development center in Lower Gwynedd, PA as part of its layoff of 8000 workers worldwide.

For the millions of people unemployed or employed but seeking new jobs/careers, this thinking has to hit you in the gut on many levels. If you’re a 50 plus year old male, it’s almost incomprehensible to conceive of a rising stock market while the unemployment levels reach highs not seen in over twenty years, especially considering that the approximate 10% figure currently reported does not include those  of us who are only working part-time or have given up looking for work altogether. Include these economic segments and the 10% unemployment figure almost doubles…

• Now I don’t mean to appear naive in a strict financial sense; obviously it’s all about the dollars. Joel Naroff, a well-known economist, said "…survival meant cutting costs as rapidly as possible and fulfilling orders with the fewest number of workers” in another recent  article on rising productivity and falling employment. It’s a given that controlling the cost-side of the ledger is an integral function of both nascent and well-established employers; but our economy is kidding itself if growth is to continue resulting from only exercising a sharp pencil or through M&A activity…what about organic growth, that is increasing actual sales. This is a surer sign of real growth that can lead to decreased unemployment levels, as companies would hopefully have the basis to expand and hire.

If you’re of that certain age (50 plus), a healthy economy and low unemployment levels always went hand-in-hand. It’s a new world out there that requires a new (not necessarily better in a moral sense) way of thinking.  I alluded to this in my September 24th post “Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks.” Finding work and/or changing careers is particularly challenging for our age group and one of the more demeaning hazards so puzzling to us is the utter lack of courtesy encountered during the job application and interview process.

How many times have any of you dealt with one or all of the following roadblocks:

1. You get an email about a position from a recruiter who has come across your online resume/you reply stating your interest/the recruiter never gets back in touch with you.

2. You reach the first interview stage (now generally done via telephone)/are told you’ll hear from the company re: scheduling a second interview/you never hear from them again even though you’ve appropriately followed-up to the initial interview.

3. You have an in-person interview and come fully prepared, through conducting research on the prospective employer, with a list of pertinent questions that you hope will highlight your appeal/you’re not given a chance to ask all of your items because the interviewer has too many other people to see that day.

4. You just completed what you felt was a terrific initial in-person interview and your interviewer obviously responded in kind because he/she says" “I’ll call you in a couple of days to schedule the next interview so you can also meet (insert other employees of the prospective firm here)”/you again follow-up appropriately, but don’t receive the call or an email, so you continue to follow-up and the interviewer continues to pull a disappearing act…

What has happened to basic common courtesy?! I understand the sheer volume of applicants for a given position may preclude a prospective employer from responding the way they should, but sometimes even an automated response is better than none at all. To all employers I would simply state “try putting yourself on the other side of the equation.” Lack of decency and empathy are sadly the new order of the day, and while reflecting poorly on the prospective employer, I would extrapolate this to society at-large.

George Carlin had an extremely funny, witty routine on oxymorons; I would have loved to heard him riff on “jobless recovery”…

-Neal